Dreaming about sex: What meanings?

Dreaming about sex: What meanings?

Dreaming about sex is often a pleasant experience, but when you wake up you may be somewhat bewildered; it mainly depends on the identity of your sexual partner in the dream.

It can be a person who really attracts you; or maybe someone you don't like at all in real life. It may be a friend of yours or someone of the same sex as you, and it surprises and upsets you. 

You reach the maximum disturbance when you dream of having sex with a parent or family member, or dream of violent and extreme content, which in all probability upon waking will disgust you deeply.

According to ancient prejudices, only men would have sexual dreams of an explicit nature; in fact, studies have shown that for both men and women, this occurs in about 8% of dreams; and they can be so intense that they cause orgasm and nocturnal ejaculation; They are actually also known as "wet dreams" (wet dreams).

For many centuries, the cultural attitude towards these dreams was very repressive: in the Middle Ages they were considered the work of the devil, and a complex theory was also developed aimed at demonstrating that evil spirits, in the form of nightmares and succubus, could take advantage of humans' sleep to have sex with them. 

Until the Victorian age, while understanding that these are not voluntary or controllable acts, they tried to suppress these dreams and their physical manifestations. in all respects, because they were considered negative not only for morality, but also for health: it was believed that the dispersal of male sperm could lead to illness and death: strange "rings" were also created for prevent erection.

With the advent of psychoanalysis, Freud's discoveries about dreaming and human sexuality fostered a more tolerant attitude. But Freud had already noticed an important thing in his time; that is, dreams in which sex appears explicitly almost never have anything to do with sexuality; the unconscious prefers indirect ways of dealing with this subject, circumventing the barriers of censorship with more veiled metaphors and symbols. 

This observation, even after a century, now that customs are much more uninhibited and that sexual references abound everywhere (in language, in advertising, in art) is still valid. Sex, when it appears in dreams, is not strictly related to sexual meaning; it could be that, but it could also be something else.

If you dream of having sex with someone, it does not mean that the dream is necessarily the fulfillment of a desire; it does not mean that you are subconsciously attracted to that person. There are also other more symbolic meanings. It is also necessary to evaluate, in addition to the partner, the sensations felt in the dream (was it pleasant or not?) And the context in which it takes place.


What does it mean to dream of sex?

  • Physical desire, fulfillment of erotic fantasies, and continuation of conscious, unconscious, or repressed sexual thoughts.
  • Desire for love: if you are single, this could indicate that you are ready to meet someone to start a story, a romantic relationship.
  • Moment of fulfillment, of relaxation: in times of stress, sex (like food) can represent a means of escape, of consolation. Making love and enjoying, reaching orgasm can also express satisfaction, self-fulfilment, achievement of goals.
  • Admiration for this person, desire to integrate in you the character traits, the gifts, the talents that this person possesses.
  • Union, harmony, closeness to the person with whom you have sex: it can be a dear friend, a person with whom you share time, interests, passions.
  • Approach, reconciliation with this person, perhaps following a quarrel, a conflict or a separation.
  • Release of creativity: If you need to express your creative ideas, but it is not possible at the moment, you may have sexual dreams.
  • Vital energy: the dream of sex can appear in difficult moments in life, for example. after an illness, an operation, a depressive crisis, bereavement, etc. it is a message that reminds you of the love for life, the attachment to life.


Physiological reasons that can cause dreams of sex

During the REM phase, certain physiological changes occur in the human body; one of them concerns the genital areas, where a greater amount of blood circulates: this makes them more sensitive and stimulated, which can favor sexual dreams.

Studies have shown that women have more erotic dreams during the period corresponding to ovulation, as well as during pregnancy, since the pressure on the pelvic and genital area increases.

In humans, however, such dreams can be caused by the fullness of the seminal vesicles, after several days of sexual inactivity.
An erotic dream can also be induced by a urinary stimulus, as well as by lying down (on your stomach) during sleep.


Dreaming about sex with your boyfriend or girlfriend, with someone you love

Dreaming of having sex with the person you love, with your boyfriend or girlfriend is a normal thing; when you love a person, you also want them physically, and this attraction generates the dream. There is nothing particularly difficult in the interpretation of this dream: it just means that that person (it can also be husband, wife, etc.) whom you love, want to be with him, that in your relationship is fine, there is union, understanding, desire.


Dreaming about sex for the first time

This is a common dream among teenagers; it is often very attractive and enjoyable. However, this can happen not only to those who have no experience, but also to those who have already had full sex in reality. To dream of sex as if you were a virgin may represent your integrity and honesty.


Dreaming of deception

Dreaming about having sex with another man or woman, with someone who is not your boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife: don't worry, it doesn't mean that you are really going to do it; betrayal dreams have a more symbolic meaning; it is necessary to consider who is the other person with whom you slept in the dream: what are the characteristics of the “lover”? Maybe he/she has something you would like to have or your partner would like to have. 


Dreaming about sex with a stranger

Dreaming of making love with a stranger, with a person not seen clearly in front, never seen before, etc.: these are dreams that indicate your personality is growing; you try to integrate a dark side unknown to you, to reconnect with a lost or neglected part of yourself. In adolescence and youth, these dreams are very common, and usually also very beautiful, intense, engaging: practically the perfect relationship.

They can reveal qualities that you would like to find in a partner (for example, gentleness, tenderness, passion).

If you dream of having sex with an ugly, awkward man, it means that the "masculine" part of the personality is still developing and defining itself.

Dreaming of sex with a young and handsome man, can indicate the desire to find something from one's own youth.


Dreaming about sex with an ex

Your ex may still love you very much, miss you (maybe even only on the physical side); this dream, however, can also have other explanations. For example, it could indicate that you are afraid to start a new relationship; the ex seems more reassuring to you. If you are starting a new relationship, it might be because some situation brings back memories and emotions related to the ex that this dream appears.

It could also be that in the current relationship that you are living, there is something that brings you back to history with your ex; be careful as this could be a warning not to fall back into the same mistakes.


Dreaming about sex with someone you don't like

Dreaming about sex with a person you really don't like at all, with whom in reality you would never want to have such a relationship, and who maybe even doesn't like you and treats you badly: this does not necessarily mean that you are attracted to it; even if you don't like this person, they may still have qualities you admire, a talent or skill you envy, characteristics you wish they had (for example, if they are your boss, your teacher or a work colleague, you may like his decision, his authority, his competence, his power).

This dream can also invite you to think about why this person is unpleasant and disagreeable to you: it could be that the character traits that you do not like about him are somehow also present in yourself, but that you denied and condemned them; maybe you should take them out to develop them in a positive way (if possible).



Dreaming about sex with a friend, relative or family member

  • Dreaming of having sex with a friend / his best friend: you may feel attracted to your friend, and you don't have the courage to tell him. But it could also be that the dream represents your deep acquaintance with a sexual image, which only means that you have many interests in common, a lot to say to each other, to share and the desire to be together even more.
  • To dream of sex with a friend's boyfriend - you probably like his character traits and would like to have them, or you would like your future partner to have them. It can happen when the girlfriend talks very well about her boyfriend, praises him very much; in this way an unconscious attraction for this man is formed. The same is true when a man dreams of having sex with his friend's girlfriend.
  • Dreaming of sex with a relative, a family member: It is really shocking to dream of having sex with the father, mother, son/daughter, brother/sister, or even with the handsome -brother, cousin / one, uncle / aunt. Incest is a big taboo. But in any case, don't live the dream with shame, because even then it may just represent that this relative has personality traits that you admire, that you would like to emphasize. If there was a quarrel or a separation, the dream can manifest the desire to forgive, to come closer, to repair the tear. Dreaming of having sex with a father or mother can most likely occur at two crucial stages of life: at puberty, when you are about to become an adult yourself, and when you are about to become parent yourself.


Dreaming of sex with three or more people

Dreaming of threesome sex with two women is a predominantly male dream, as well as having group sex with several people (like an orgy or something similar), or having a couple swap. However, even women can dream of having sex with several men. Of course, if a person is dreaming, it does not mean that he really wants it. This dream might indicate confusion, lack of a well-defined goal; you do not concentrate your energies in one direction but you disperse them following the passions of the moment.


Dreaming of sex with a famous man, with a celebrity, with a VIP

It is a dream more feminine than masculine; Many women dream of having sex with their favorite actor, famous singer, TV personality, etc. It can indicate, of course, that you like this character very much, but it can also mean that you feel that you have a talent in common with him, or that you wish to be more successful, more popular and admired.


Dream about having homosexual relations

To dream of sex with someone of the same sex, even if you are sure of your heterosexuality, can indicate that you need to integrate the masculine or feminine characteristics that this partner represents in your personality. If it is a person you know, it can also be a dream of making peace with him, of union and harmony, of admiration.


Dreaming of sex in the water, at the sea, in the car, in the elevator, etc.

The place where love is made can be interesting to examine; for example, dreaming of making love in water (in the sea, on the beach, in the swimming pool, in the bathtub, etc.) is very positive, because water is linked to emotions.
It is also very common to dream of having sex in the car, on the train, in the elevator, at work, in a cemetery, in the church, on the stairs and even in the parent's bed! Depending on your point of view, they can be transgressive or reassuring places.


Dreaming about sex in public, in secret, getting caught, not being able to

  • Dreaming of sex in front of everyone, in public, in a crowd, on the street, in front of other people: this can indicate that you need to express yourself more freely, without inhibitions and without fear of being judged.
  • To dream of sex in front of parents - father and mother represent your moral sense; if the parents are indifferent, it means that your superego accepts this situation; otherwise it means there is something holding you back.
  • Dreaming of sex in secret and being discovered, being surprised, being interrupted: this can express a difficulty in letting go, in expressing oneself freely.
  • Dreaming of wanting to have sex but not succeeding: This can express fear of losing power, insecurity, low self-esteem, emotional blockage. It may also reflect real sexual problems (impotence).
  • Dreaming of sex with clothes - this dream also manifests insecurity and fear of expressing yourself; maybe you are hiding something, you don't want to be naked.
  • Dreaming about looking for a place to have sex and not finding it, having your period, being without a condom, etc. - indicates complexes and difficulties that block the expression of yourself.


dream of masturbating

  • To dream of masturbating may represent sexual (or even non-sexual) needs to be met, the need to take care of oneself. It may also reflect anxieties and inhibitions, a sign that something is wrong.
  • To dream of sex with yourself, with your double, or with someone equal to you, indicates that you are on excellent terms with yourself, you accept yourself as you are; on the other hand, it can also express excessive self-esteem, narcissistic tendencies.


Dreaming of violent sex and sado-masochism

If the sex in your dream becomes violent, you are bleeding etc., it can indicate that you don't trust the person you are dating, you think it might hurt you, hurt you, take advantage of you. It may reflect manipulative and abusive attitudes you are experiencing.

  • Sadism: practicing it in the dream can serve to evacuate repressed anger.
  • Masochism: May express feelings of guilt and the need to punish oneself.
  • Bondage: Being tied up can mean you feel repressed, trapped, you don't have the freedom to express yourself as you wish


Dream about seeing others having sex

Maybe you feel sexually insecure and this dream is a way for you to explore some aspects of sexuality without direct involvement; it could also indicate some difficulty in letting go, even if one wants to.


Dreaming of sex with animals, demons, dead

  • Dreaming about having sex with animals (dogs, cats, horses, etc.) or with half-animal men: although at first glance these dreams may seem somewhat 'perverse', they are self-explanatory by the fact that they do not reflect your sexual tastes, but the need to integrate in oneself the characteristics expressed by the animal. So it will be helpful for you to analyze the meaning of this specific animal in dreams.
  • Dreaming of having sex with the devil - can occur in sleep paralysis, a sleep disorder that involves feelings of being paralyzed and very realistic and often frightening hallucinations. Alternatively, the devil may be a dark side of your personality emerging.
  • Dreaming of having sex with a vampire - the vampire has sexual meanings related to guilt and transgression.
  • Dreaming of making love with a deceased person, a deceased person: the dream expresses nostalgia and the desire to keep in touch with the deceased person.
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